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From a Former Caregiver: After “The Long Goodbye”
A few years after my father died, I had written an email to someone who had witnessed the love of a caregiver for his wife who had Alzheimer’s Disease. It was in response to the awe the writer had for the compassion, patience and tenderness this man had for the woman who long before had succumbed to the last stages of what has come to be known as “the long goodbye.”
For those of us who know this disease intimately, in having watched loved ones go through it, including those whom we have cared for, we know all too well the qualities that are necessary to walk this particular path of emotion which seems an inherent part of the process of watching someone you love slowly slipping away. We know, too, for those of us who have eventually lost that loved one, the aftermath that comes, and unfortunately is rarely addressed in the discussion about Alzheimer’s Disease.
My email in response to the writer, in this case, was a remembrance of my father, whom I had cared for during several years with my mother until his death in 2005. No matter how much time passes, I am still affected by certain emotions when facing the week or two surrounding the anniversary. I am also still recovering from the intensity of that time in myriad ways — ways still which I am discovering even though many years have passed.
